Life

It is really interesting coming back to this blog. I haven't been back for over 3 years? That is crazy! So much hard and some good has happened since then. I don't even know where to start? I am not in school right not, not playing soccer full time for the first time in my life and really trying to hear from God. The last one has been so challenging. Mostly because of the huge changes that have gone on in my life..I guess you could say. When I was still at school, my last year, I was still dating Carey. It feels like a decade ago. We were still together when slowly things started to change. Not in our relationship precisely, but my life specifically. I really started to struggle with doing schoolwork, which I blamed on my upper level Bible courses/Theology. I began to see the time between Carey and myself slowly dissappearing at first it was when we would be together to have fun or go on a date and then it was no time together, no texts to say goodnight or calls to meet up to get breakfast in the morning. It was all going away. All that was in me could not explain why things seemed to be moving so fast and I couldn't keep up with my school work and why I didn't want to "just relax" in Bible study or in my time with Carey. I thought we were changing? Individually? as a couple? maybe both? or I wasn't meant for school and soccer anymore? Since I was trying so hard and spending so much more time in it, maybe I was idolizing it? Was I turning away from God? Or maybe I was the opposite? Since I spent so much time obsessing over Bible information or debates .. maybe I was just way to haughty and proud of myself? WHAT WAS GOING ON, what was happening here? What was all this? This is the beginning to a turning point in my life that changed so much. I will write further soon. Thanks for following and your support.
Love, Kailyn